Love...to Live!!

Author: Rashmi Sharma

Have you ever seen a multitude of sand-dunes? When a breeze blows, the sand granules dislocate and reach unknown destinations. The journey of these sand granules is endless. On the other hand, the strongest of tornado or hurricane can do an iota of damage to rocks!! Emotions can make us weak like sand or strong like a rock. The strongest human emotions are love, hatred, anger and ego. Of these, love is an emotion that can make a whole world of difference to our lives, if managed properly… Love can make us experience heaven or hell!

What does love mean to you? Is it the feeling of ecstasy you experience when you hold someone’s hand or when your heart skips a beat when you see someone for the first time? The moment this feeling is born is the moment you assume that you are falling in love with this person who is so charming, devastatingly good-looking, rich or enjoys power/status. Gradually when you get to see this person who has taken your breath away, you start looking at the world with rose colored glasses. You tend to oversee the negative or darker side of this person. It’s only after the lapse of time you realize that you made a mistake. How devastating this mistake is directly proportional to the level of commitment you have reached in the relationship. If you have already taken the plunge and got married then it’s too late. Love then takes its most horrid form! The moment responsibilities enter the door, love flies out of the window! Not that in marriage one has to carry the burden of responsibilities and it is very tormenting for a person; the fact is that it becomes strenuous in the absence of understanding as what you had assumed as `love’ was nothing but infatuation. The magnetic pull you had experienced in the courtship days becomes repulsion later…For example, your lover’s over-possessive nature may give you a feeling of being on cloud nine initially but with passage of time, it becomes a pain to endure such baseless temperament!

Famous metaphysical poet John Donne in his verse `A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning’ has aptly compared two lovers and their soul to a pair of compass. One has to act as a fixed foot of the compass to let the other foot run obliquely to help complete the circle (of life). The fixed foot, though makes no show to move but it does lean and roam with the moving foot. Such should be the level of trust and understanding in love. This forms basis of a strong & supportive relationship which means honoring and valuing the other person’s actions and words. Even in the toughest of circumstances, you should have unflinchable patience and tolerance for the person you love. Gold never loses its form even if it is subject to extreme hammering pressure. It may become as thin as a wire but it never breaks. Likewise true love never gives way to worldly pressures and stress. It calls for respecting and understanding the other person’s individuality as well. If your lover prefers tea to coffee then why should you pester him/her to have coffee? If your lover enjoys the company of friends or loves going shopping and you don’t then why should you hamper his/her spirits? These are very small examples; however there is no harm to let go of such trivial things as coffee, friends etc for the person who means the world to you. It will give happiness to both but then again it works only if you do not regret or fall back on the same system. It is very important to give space to people then only they grow. Coming back to the simile of compass, a circle can only be created if the fixed foot gives space to the moving foot!! And it’s important to know that only one person should not forever remain the fixed foot… relationship works when both adjust!

Thus it is very important to identify true love in your life. Always take to time to know and understand a person. Check your compatibility level; identify whether you get adequate moral support from him/her. Know whether your tears well up in his/her eyes and whether your monosyllables can communicate to him/her that you’re disturbed or upset. The moment you are able to do so is the moment you have found `real love’ that would face the roughest weather of time and yet never wear out or lose its form- just like a rock or gold…and if you jump into a relationship only after being attracted to someone’s charming looks or due to materialistic gains then chances are that your life would become as haywire as a sand granule’s….

About the Author:

MBA ( HR), M.A. (English)

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